Meet Amy

(1/2) “There’s the saying that Generation X was the slacker generation, but I wouldn’t say that’s the complete picture. We were this bridging generation, this transition between Boomers and early millennials.

We were the first generation to see a big group of our parents get divorced. We were the first to start talking about sexuality and homosexuality. And for the most part, we were the generation that was openly talking about our identity, our roles, where we fit into the world.

Wong Yuet Kwan (Amy's grandma "Po-Po") and Wong Wai (Amy's Grandpa "Gon-Gon")
Wong Yuet Kwan (Amy’s grandma “Po-Po”) and Wong Wai (Amy’s Grandpa “Gon-Gon”)

My personal view about taking care of our elders will not look like a lot of other Asians’. One, I don’t have children, and I’m not going to have children. Two, we don’t talk a lot about some of the negative things in our community like domestic and emotional abuse. Just because we don’t talk about it doesn’t mean that it does not happen in our community. We may be better at hiding it, but in the long run it hurts everybody.

I’m still in the midst of understanding that my mom married her second husband, who was an alcoholic and an abusive man. And I’m still coming to terms with the fact that my mom wasn’t the best mom.

Lizz (middle sister), Maureen (youngest sister), Amy (oldest sister) c. 1987-1988
Lizz (middle sister), Maureen (youngest sister), Amy (oldest sister) c. 1987-1988

We have this conversation about how important family is, and don’t get me wrong, family is very important. But we also don’t have honest conversations about what goes on within our families. And I think it’s unfortunate because it affects our mental lives, and that affects our emotional lives.

I’m in the process of rebuilding my relationship with my mom. It’s really f*cking hard. I do love my mom. I have to accept her for who she is. But I also have to be truthful about our relationship.

I have a lot of optimism that my cohort started the conversation about mental health, and your generation is going to continue on and bring it to the forefront.  At the end of the day, no matter how strong our community is, we are still made out of individuals. If you have a whole bunch of people that are hiding, mentally and emotionally, what are you really building in the bigger picture?

We are a resourceful, resilient community. By talking about what really goes on in our community, we could start extending help to people who really need it.

总有人说 X世代是懒惰的一代,但我并不这样认为。 我们是第一代见证上一辈的离婚潮,也是第一代坦白地讨论性和同性恋。 更重要的是我们可以公开谈论身份的认同、扮演的角色、以及世界观。

我个人对照顾长辈的看法与其他人不同。 第一,我没有孩子也不打算要孩子。 第二,我家中很少谈论一些负面事情,如家庭暴力和情绪失控。虽然我们不谈论它,并不意味着在社会中不存在。我们可能更擅长隐藏它,但从长远来说它会更伤害到每个人。

我仍然在尝试理解我的妈妈嫁给她第二任丈夫的原因,後父酗酒和有暴力倾向。我母亲也不是最好的妈妈,我仍在修复与她的关系。 虽然不易但我仍爱我的妈妈。 我要接受她是谁和坦承面对我们的关系。

我们这一代亦开始关注心理健康,而下一代将会延续下去。 归根结底,无论我们的社会多么强大,仍然是由个体组成的。 如果有一大群人封闭他们的心思和情感,整个社会又能走得多远?

一个互帮互助的社会是要人人都能说出心中的问题,這樣才能向真正需要帮助的人伸出援手。” —Amy

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